I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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