If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
