He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
