My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Help me help you realize you are a moron
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
