I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
I've blown a few things in my day
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
