Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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