I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
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