he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
