my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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