what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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