I wish I could punch you in the face.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize