I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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