he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
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