considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
