i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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