He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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