Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
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