I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
