; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
