so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize