we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I am naked and annoyed.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
