i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
