the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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