She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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