I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
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