I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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