i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
