Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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