My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after