dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.