I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own