he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
No more Irish car bombs ever.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking