just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest