My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
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