I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize