well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
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