You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
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