Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
