Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
