Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
