Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
