I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
At least life still wants to fuck me.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
PANTIES FOUND
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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