It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Randomize
