the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
