Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
