two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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