ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
