we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
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