I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
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