My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
