i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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