We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize