No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
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i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
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