At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
