The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize