i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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