why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
