OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
