um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I'm at about main and main street
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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