Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
