i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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