So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
