it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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