I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
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