Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Randomize