he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
