dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
