I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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